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Updates! Sorry I lack on a abundance of blogging all the time... Anyhow whats going on in my life? Well lets see I was doing really horrible in school partly because I have too much going on and the other part because my heart wasn't in it because I was going for something I didn't really want to do. So I was dropped from 2 classes due to missed days and no work turning in and what not basically worst student of the year award. So I withdrew from all of my classes, I read online I would have to pay back financial aid if it was passed the 60% mark so lets home that's legit. I dropped before the 70% mark so I got all "W"'s instead of "F"'s so that works in my favor too. I hopefully will not have to return anything to the VA as well. I really dug myself into a hole this time haven't I? I finally stopped making excuses and will be going to school online for my passion... PHOTOGRAPHY. You can check out my work HERE and HERE! I am beyond excited about following my dreams, I still need to work on feeling like I am good enough.

I don't remember if I told everyone I was back to watching Skylar, Autumn, & Chris again but I am for one weekend a month and various training days Mrs. Jen may have so that adds a lil money to help with bills.

Speaking of which, now that I am not in school and getting paid to go by the VA ch.35 benefit I have ZERO income. Which means poor Cory feels the pressure more now to be able to cover things. I hate that. I am a 50/50 kinda girl and hate depending on anyone. Luckily though I have gotten a few shoots booked that has helped out with bills and then watching the kids and selling things we aren't using has been helping a ton. 

Even the money in the envelops I have saved up for wedding stuff might go toward bills instead if it comes down to it and that breaks my heart. but we gotta do what we gotta do right!

I guess you could say I have also gone Bridezilla status but honestly I think I am allowed to be a little selfish for once in my life. This day means a shit ton to me. Sadly you learn lessons a long the way that you didn't really want to learn. Shit gets cray cray when weddings happen, peoples feelings get hurt, misunderstandings happen, and you lose friends.

On to other news for Stark's constant barking I finally broke down an got a shock collar. Well look what the damn thing did to him!!! Hell no! I am taking that shit back... I followed the directions and what not that should not have happen I was livid. Although this morning I was about ready to put it back on him and say the hell with it burn your head off! He drives me nuts with that non-stop barking! I don't know how to fix that.

How do you like my hooker look? LOL

 

I have also been thinking about tanning or spray tan to get not so pasty for my wedding... ideas/suggestions????

Easter Sunday! Man I finally looks smaller then Cory... well at least in this picture lol I have this thing were I feel like I should be smaller then my man so he can throw me around... wink wink 

176 pounds! (lost 74lbs total so far!!!)

DON'T GIVE UP!

I have been struggling lately and I am afraid to even see the scale this week... I try to focus on how I look and feel rather than what the scale says. However I am in a challenge too so I have to and need to weigh in weekly. It helps me range how well I am doing though. Which has not been great lately. 

Today is a new day and I am eating nothing but fruits and veggies and water to detox all the crap I have been putting into my body!

well this is long enough! 

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