Super Size Shelly

HA well I tried sticking with the theme stuff but that just don't work for me lol I like to talk about w/e I want when I want LOL so much for that! Cory should be back home from training in a day or 2! I'm SO excited I have missed him so damn much! Currently blaring country music and trying to get pumped to go beast mode on cleaning the house:) I have been stressed lately and a little negative and down... but today I said FUCK THIS! Let it go, everything will be OK, stop wasting time feeling like this! Life is a precious gift don't waste it on dumb shit. Everything turns out OK eventually. I am proud of where I am right now. I have come a long way that's for sure. Sometimes I forget everything I have been through and everything I have done. Sometimes you need to take a minute and step back from yourself, look around, appreciate things! I am lucky! I shouldn't let just a few problems get me So down. Sometimes I wish people would be like hey, hey, hey Michelle STOP being so hard on yourself! maybe I would realize shit a little sooner lol I have realllllly been beating myself down and that's just not healthy nor who I am or want to be! I have so very much to be thankful for, a amazing man who supports me in everything I do and stands by me, lifts me up and makes me a better person, a fantastic family who does the same and helps try and point me in the right directions and paths, unbelievably awesome friends who always stand by me, a vehicle, a home,  the best fur-babies anyone could ask for that have been with me through the worst times in my life, I'm going back to church, I've settled on going back to school in Jan for esthetics and then trying to find more direct training in laser hair removal to help people like me, maybe even a personal trainer one day or nutritionist, which is CRAZY for me to think about but something I have always been interested in except thought I couldn't do those thing looking the way I do. BUT I will look better so I can do those things! I am so happy right now even with all my stressors. I have grown so much as a person. I am tired of letting myself feel like a waste of space, like a no good POS, like I don't deserve anything, Like I will never amount to anything. Deep down I know that's not true so I need to stop thinking like that. Everyone see's me differently than I see myself and I need to fix that! I am going to be the person I want to be that I know I am. Hello Changes! Thank you daddy for watching over me, I know your proud, I know your pushing me to be better, I sure do miss you. Every time I think of you and get chill bumps I pretend that's you hugging me. I love you.

Here are my current major stressors: (any advice on how to cope with them would be fantastical)
- I am jobless at the moment (but it would be pointless to get one n have to quit come Jan)
- Cory's Divorce and Custody battle
- Cory's work environment (Its like they are always out to fuck him, I miss the old military)
- Haven't finished some of the remodeling on the house (cabinets, fence, floor)
- The Lawyer finishing Dad's affairs, have to finish getting the deed in my name and refinancing. 
- Training Re-Re & JJ properly and finding Charlie & Stark new homes. (breaks my fucking heart)
- Losing weight (saving money to get rid of the extra skin when done and maybe even a boob job)